Rules of Engagement

I’ve never been a flirt. In fact I’d say I’m pretty clueless on a whole when it comes to engaging in or recognizing flirtation. In most cases I don’t clue in till it’s too late and I’m stuck In one of those awkward OHHHH……moments. It truly is a good thing I didn’t have to “shop around” to find my husband, because I’m pretty sure I’d be very single still if I had too! So I guess what I’m curious of is, what are the rules when you’re in a relationship? Where are the lines drawn?

I’m not so much curious because I plan to become a champion flirt. Or because my husband is one. I guess I’m just curious. There’s this saying, “I’m not dead just married.” And it’s true. It would be unrealistic to think that you or your partner would never feel a physical attraction towards another person again. It’s natural, normal. But what we do with attraction, how we act is where those lines get drawn and the heart needs protection. When does flirtation become hurtful, or even cheating? Does it become cheating?

It’s silly really, to flirt when you are attached. Nothing good can come of it. You can’t take that anywhere good. So why do it? I figure it’s for purely selfish reasons. We flirt because it feels good to be wanted, desired. It’s a form of validation. So it is out if vanity that we test the limits of our loyalty. Some people do it without even thinking. It’s just a natural way if relating to others. For others it’s a way getting attention, maybe they are lacking it and just need it from somewhere. Still others do it by accident, without even realizing they are doing it. I guess that’s where I’d land, seeing as how I don’t really know how to flirt.

So if flirting is a normal action, is it ok? Does it ever become harmful to the relationship? I don’t think I could be with a constant flirt. I think you’d have to be a big one yourself or have a great deal of self confidence and security in your relationship. I definitely lack the confidence. But what if the person you love can’t help it, then what? I’m lucky because my husband is much like me, not a flirt. So I don’t have to worry. But sometimes I look at other people and wonder why they do the things they do. There’s never any answer, just speculation.

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