In some ways I think my boys are more demanding of my attention than my daughter. My boys are very sweet little guys. At nine years old they are far more kind and caring than I could have hoped for. They don’t wrestle with each other or hit. They adore their sister and idolize their father. And everyday they show me a touching kindness. But there is this constant need they seem to have where I need to see everything they are doing, reading, or watching at ALL times. It’s “Mommy” that has to come see the minecraft world or archer kill. It’s “Mommy” that has to see the newest Captain Sauce video.
It’s not that I mind per say. I adore my boys and love spending time with them. It’s just a tall order to be on constant demand, especially when the two of them are speaking at the same time. For whatever reason they don’t seem to notice this either and just go on speaking over each other. Because they are twins and we have three kids I try very hard to make each of them feel loved, heard and important. This is not easy. Often I feel that I fall short. A good example of this was their birthday this past week. I tried hard to ensure that both boys felt that the celebration reflected them in some way. I tried to pick an event that was mutually enjoyable, and I think I accomplished that for the most part. They both seemed happy in the end.
Their personality difference makes equality difficult and the cracks in the family social structure are starting to show through. My one son’s lack of social relationships outside of family seemed only apparent when it came time for playdates and birthday parties where we lived before. Now things have changed. Now we have a next door neighbor with a daughter, whose age is in between my children. She blends well into the kids lives having the same interests as them. Well two of them. Two of my children love FNAF and cosplay (words I didn’t even know existed until a month ago) while my little genius is far more interested in Minecraft and science, biology and geography. He often feels left out of the playing and as the other three kids are running between houses dressed in costumes I barely understand, he is left to hang out alone or with his parents; how uncool! For him anyways. It has always concerned me that he is less social, but now it is apparent and in some ways has torn our family dynamic a bit. Especially when the bond between the other children grows stronger daily (literally, they play everyday!) and he is left behind. I feel bad for him. My little love. But as a mother I know I can only do so much to steer the social life of my children and he must find his own voice and way. I hope that with the start of school in a month, he will find people with his interests to make friends with!